big moment...

im getting ready to go to my doctors today. i had CT scans done yesterday and today i will know if this drug ive been on for the past 2 months is doing anything helpful or if my hair is turning white just to be funny. please please please let this be good news. if it isnt working my doctor said hes going to find another drug trial to put me on. i cant go through this roller coaster anymore. its driving me insane! why does life have to be so complicated? the only reason i havent snapped yet is because i would never have taken this life if i knew i couldnt handle it. i hope i am right about my own strength.