I recently came home from the hospital and thought i should update this. oh yeah, and put up another picture of josh. hes so stinkin cute! anyways, this week I have a rare blood infection that people who dont have a spleen get. So i guess this is my first taste of what the rest of my life without a spleen will be like. I dont know why i am so lucky to keep getting all these rare things. i cant carry my son right now because i have a PIC line. that is a nasty little tube (about the size of a coffee straw) that was inserted into my right arm and travels through a vein all the way to somewhere right before my heart. yea... i hate it. it is sore and did i mention i cant carry my son? :( im so ready to just move on with life. i want to leave all this sickness behind me and just be a mom. i wish i could be back home in utah, where josh is learning to walk in our home. Having play dates with kids from church. walks to go see "albert", the horse around the corner. i miss sitting on my couch watching the rain fall through my big front window. the solitude and the privacy. Its not that im not grateful that my mom is letting us stay here, its that i dont feel like me anymore. This isnt how growing up is suppose to be...
I don't think there is a defined "what life is supposed to be" ... I think it it what it is for each of us individually and we have to find a way to survive through it. I am so sorry it is so difficult for you right now. :( Again, if you want to talk to my friend, lemme know. She's been exactly where you are. It might be nice to have someone to understand that. Try and keep your chin up, hon!
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