chemotherapy blues

today i went in for my first ever chemotherapy. i was scared and depressed these past few weeks. i havent been sleeping and i have been eating anything to get my mind off the fact that im probably gonna look like voldemort soon. but, after a nice talk with the girl at the wig shop, i think i might learn to enjoy that im going to have great hair days every day. and i can invest in some adorable vintage swim caps. right? ive got my wig lineup thanks to Amber and the cancer aide society, i have my options. i think if i continue to psych myself into believing that i dont care about loosing my hair, i might make it out okay. i even decided to get some Lady GAGA wigs and a nice blue Katy perry one too. as for my first infusion...

i showed up at 7:30 am at the hospital and was finally relased at 7:30 PM. yeah, thats right. ALL DAY. the nurses were awesome. i was basically the only patient there so i was given the royal treatment. i didnt even feel the two iv's she placed in my arms. one for blood draws, one for chemo. we told jokes, and they socialized with me. My sister took the whole day off just to be with me, as well as one of my best cousin in laws ever, daniel. Robert had to leave out of town for work, so he couldnt be there. :( miss him. im glad i had people to talk to though. it made today just feel like hanging out and watching movies. i got a little nauseated, and i saw spots for a min. but other than that i felt normal. they didnt give me anything to knock me out, but i didnt need it. im so greatful for all the help ive been reciving from everyone.

lastnight my mom, Jennifer, took me out to eat with my sister. we went to Chiles. yum fajitas! then when alicia took me home, i was surprised to find daniel vacuuming my apartment and he also gave my dog a bath. the two things i knew i forgot to do and didnt want to. lol.

anyways, i hope next week goes as well as today did. sadly, i have to distance myself from josh for the next few days, and im starting to feel groggy and sick since starting this page. i can hardly keep my eyes open, so goodnight everyone.